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The girl who's kicking the coke machine. [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
kaysamantha

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Your girlfriend is secretly stalking my blog. WHAT [16th, July. 2009|01:37 am]
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Hi Bumblebee, [16th, July. 2009|01:12 am]
( Skype me happy! )
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(no subject) [16th, July. 2009|12:56 am]
Today I learn a lot of new words. Of some I created myself! So here they are:

Garena! Fried Cheese Pie! Cow Pay Cow Bull! Land Park! Tar, Ma Dear!
LinkOperation reaction.

(no subject) [15th, July. 2009|03:37 pm]
I DON'T LIKE HOR ASK SO MANY QUESTIONS. LAST WARNING.
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Darkness encroached. [15th, July. 2009|01:12 am]
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(no subject) [14th, July. 2009|08:57 pm]
Scratch that! I want to go back to school and I can't wait. I feel so sad when I'm home. School's always filled with laughter and joy! And I don't need to face people who's trying to manipulate me. Oh, fuck off!
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Sick child. [14th, July. 2009|10:28 am]
It's been 346789098765437 days since I returned back to school. And tomorrow will be THE day. Sigh, I don't want to go back to school!
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My heart jelly poppins'! [13th, July. 2009|04:05 am]
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#: Empty. [12th, July. 2009|10:21 pm]
Stay home Sunday, staring into space at least half of the time, eyes blank, thoughts permeate, depression invades. Learning someone who's somewhat important to you vanish into thin air, isn't something I know how to react to. But I will keep trying, I will move heaven and earth just to bring you back. Just you wait and see. Check your phone everyday, make damn sure you do. 'Cause I covet the lovely, mellow voices of your violin coming from the fantastic person I know. Stay safe.
LinkOperation reaction.

Dilemma. [11th, July. 2009|08:49 pm]
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Have been thinking fr th longest time. Tough one.
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Saturday Ruined. [11th, July. 2009|03:58 pm]
Supposedly to crash Bryan's and Thomas' gig. But whole lot of us overslept. Some, still sleeping. Eejits.

Carmen's Birthday next up but I haven't gotten anything fr her and it sucks to go empty handed. Still thinking about that.

I hope night museum trip would be on. No, seriously.

I feel so tired. I just want to sleep forever.
LinkOperation reaction.

Sigh. [9th, July. 2009|12:29 am]
3 rounds around the track.
20 minutes of skipping.
25 counts of 8 jumping jacks.
1 meal a day - Half of the mixed rice.
Corn soup.
Orange Juice.
Green Tea.
Twisties.


 
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Losing my cool to an orange. [8th, July. 2009|05:30 pm]
Seriously, I am not angry 'cause that guy spoke bluntly to Cheryl and I. But because I lost my poise and composure, threw raw sarcastic remarks at him for something I would totally do the same if I was in his shoes. Shouldn't have been so hot-headed. I jeopardized my own Napfa status. Stupid bitch.
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#: Final decision - I think I want out. [8th, July. 2009|03:28 pm]



Lately I've been thinking 'bout what I can do,
I've been stressing to fall back in love with you,
I'm so sorry that I couldn't follow through,
but I can't go on this way,
I've got to stop it baby.
You've been wonderful in all that you can be,
but it hurts when you say that you understand me,
so believe me I, I am sorry I... I am sorry I, I...

I wanted you to be there when I fall,
I wanted you to see me through it all,
I wanted you to be the one I love,
I wanted you, I wanted you,
I wanted you to hold me in my sleep,
I wanted you to show me what I need,
I wanted you to know just how down deep,
I wanted you, I wanted you.

I've been pushing hard to open up the door,
trying to take us back to where we were before.
But I'm done I just can't do this anymore,
'cause we can't be mended,
so let's stop pretending now.
We've been walking round in circles for some time,
and I think we should head for the finish line,
so believe me I, I am sorry I.. I am sorry I, I...

I wanted you to be there when I fall,
I wanted you to see me through it all,
I wanted you to be the one I love,
I wanted you, I wanted you.
I wanted you to hold me in my sleep,
I wanted you to show me what I need,
I wanted you to know just how down deep,
I wanted you, I wanted you.

I, I... I'm so sorry baby but,
I, I... I've got to pack up and leave but,
I, I'll always remember how we came close,
to be all I wanted to be.
I wanted you baby.




 
And have you ever heard of 'missing the boat'? Sometimes goodbye is a second chance, but what if it isn't? I missed mine, and you've missed yours. Or is it just me who's serious here? You said I ruined it all, and I say, how about we're both are at wrong. Or how about I don't care who is at wrong (anymore)? I am so tired of moving back and forth at the same location, I am a dangerous car, remember? We're both lethargic from our own commitments and activities. You know what kind of responsibilities you have, and I know how much work I've got to work on through this last year in Poly. Think: Burden added to one another. And I don't know about going back to where we started already, it's really bleak to me now. After all, you can't lose what you've never got. Things have changed ever since that pregnant hiatus and I have since 'moved on', sort of.  From your statuses, from your pictures, don't tell me you haven't? Or am I making assumptions again? But I don't care, for this time around, I choose to believe what my eyes comprehends. And you sure have a hell of a time when you're partying. 


Anyone can say 'I love you.' I don't believe in this shit anymore. At least for now. I'm sorry. I'm so tired. I think I want out.
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#: FFat [7th, July. 2009|10:10 pm]
And I feel that I'm a dangerous car, always wanting to steer in all different directions. Maybe in sight, there isn't any spot to park myself. Or maybe I'm too huge. 

Which brings it to this topic:

I am so fucking gargantuan. It makes me feel so inferior. Or rather, literally inferior. This world is real, man. It is. And it's not even like I've not put in effort. Maybe I should visit weight-doctor. I've been eating less, okay, this evening's prata don't count. It was a stressful day, needed that to feel happier. I've started to run and skip. I hope it helps. And next, I've started going around, asking people to steal my food. What's left: A meal a day and a stronger mental endurance; to not only succumb my low self-esteem but, transparent criticism, if I surface any. 

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Complexity. [7th, July. 2009|01:40 am]
Why do I feel that I have so many secrets? And why do I feel that I will never find someone that I will tell everything to? 
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<3 [6th, July. 2009|05:15 pm]
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Sorry fr the plenty of updates in such a short period of time (if you scroll down), but, but, but... but I love my girlfriend! :)


xxx
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Mmmonday Blues. [6th, July. 2009|09:22 am]
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I am suffering frm Monday blues. I have to face the music later, I know. Fucked up life, seriously. Oh planet, this is the 5th time I'm asking, so, crash the Earth already!
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My Favourite Saturday [6th, July. 2009|02:33 am]
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( Clicka! )



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#: Double chin, double chin! [3rd, July. 2009|11:09 am]
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Hahahahahahahahahahahaahahhaa don't kill me for this, Bumblebee!


I haven't web-cammed with anyone ever since Ian expired. That makes up about 1.5 years. No, I am serious. Skype! Works wonders. Oh well, I think I found myself a new hobby. No, actually not. Don't skype me, I get really embarrassed and shy. And besides you have to bear with the sight of the slum I'm living in. But... if you have a dog, we can make things interesting ^^


By the way... home girl's back!
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What's not to love? [2nd, July. 2009|01:41 pm]
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Solitary insomnia. [1st, July. 2009|04:44 am]
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Last By Azazel


For everything there must come a last.

A last minute, a last hour, a last month, day, or year.

A last drink, a last coke, a last tequila, scotch, or beer.

A last love, a last heart, a last kiss, hug, or rage...

Or even the last words written on a page.

But the worst last thing is your last breath because what is to follow will surely be your death.
 
 
 
 
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Love hate love hate love hate. [29th, June. 2009|12:58 pm]
I hate my phone. The alarm is dysfunction. It only rings whenever it wants, and apparently, this morning's 5am one wasn't successful. Pissed! My body alarm got up at around 6am though, thankfully - was on time! I need to buy an alarm clock!

Anyway, as soon as Asian Youth Games Opening Ceremony is over, I will do a decent post and do my blog justice. And at the meantime, can you people get over the Michael Jackson thing already?
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(no subject) [24th, June. 2009|01:04 am]
Everyone has a Twitter, so do I!


I was secretly wishing Asian Youth Games would be called off because of the H1N1 cases. Unfortunately, nope. Might as well face it. 6am every single day, till, evening.


So, fucking, tired.
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#: Alcohol-Inspired Days [22nd, June. 2009|12:17 am]
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